Dagger eyes
accusing voice
perpetually poised
to attack and crush
the one she fiercely claims
to love
to everyone else
I wait
for the sweet soft magic
of a tender look
of a kindly word
I wait
and wait
I ask
and wait
while silver tendrils
grow long
at my temples
and the object
of my desire
denies
the object
of her love
access
to her stone cold castle
where she crouches
armed
ready to destroy
the one she so fiercely claims
to love
to everyone else
Yesterday I stumbled across a poem that I wrote in 2013 when I was going through an extremely painful time. It took almost a year to grieve and let go of a lifetime of unfulfilled expectations, and to finally move forward with compassion and dignity. I thought she couldn’t get to me anymore and have continued reaching out to her, but from a less vulnerable place. It was her 83rd birthday a few days ago, and well… I guess she got to me.
It’s time to re-read my books:
Trapped in the Mirror by Elan Golomb
The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz
And anything by Eckhart Tolle helps a lot too. If you’ve come across any other books that deal with difficult parent/child relationships, please share them here. Thank you, and may love and kindness shine upon you today and every day.
Michelle LaRiviere 